There is only one lord of the ring, only one who can bend it to their will. Or well, twelve...
There is only one lord of the ring, only one who can bend it to their will. Or well, twelve...
It rhymes with 'hicture of hoss hill" and it isn't at the top of this article...
Celebrate good times, come on!
Welcome to: Cyperr, a retri paladin completing our paladin 3-spec set in our raiding team, Cruella, the spitting image of Ellz (best to treat her with the same respect as she's under the Gnome Protection Law), Brohmir, a player playing the most wonderful, elegant and lovable spec in the world and Tal, who is... Wait. Tal?! Tal!!!!!!
Grats on 100: Fluorine (Flu)
Good afternoon guildies,
Sometimes a week gone by is not just another 7 days completed. Sometimes a week is a difference between the past and the present (... what?), childhood and adulthood, a guild who is 5 years old and a guild who is 5 years and one week old.
What are you referring to, Jade? Is it the fact that we have celebrated our guild's 5th birthday this week, the fact we've all matured since last week, the fact we've recruited so many new guildies last week, or the fact that our raiding shadow priest population has increased by a 100%, which we all know is a sign of great fortune? Well, dear guildie, that and more! Just maybe not the maturing part.
Of course the whole of last week's news was dedicated to celebrating our guild's 5th birthday, so I won't spend too much time on that. Let me just refer you to DR's guild history Ellz wrote for us during the week. Also allow me to remind you of the great DR hallmarks; the SGT, the Standard Goodbye Time. This rule went into effect around Christmas last year and needs mentioning every once in a while. This rule concerns saying a simple "hi" when logging on, and "bye" before logging off, and allowing a few seconds to pass before logging off, so guildies get a chance to take in your departure and respond to it in a fitting way. As I've said before, every time you log off without waiting, a guildie dies, and a kitten. I have now also gathered this wisdom for you on a Dutch bathroom tile, which you can order here.
And that is quite enough rhyming from my side for the next 10 years.
Okay, enough yapping - to the news!
You know it's Wednesday when Averte tells Zub "If you were a pair of leggings I would roll on you too". Or when Ellz calls Cookie's hordie "Tushi". This particular Wednesday we started off with our first shot at defeating Algalon with our level 80 hordies. Wobbs, Fare, Cookie, Gnomy, Coz, Ellz, Levy, Mivz, Term and I gathered at the doors of Ulduar. We could move to the Celestial Planetarium right away thanks to Ellz's lockout and after some technical difficulties we started our first attempts. As you might've already read on the forums, it wasn't easy... It may be the gear, the great changes to healing post-WotLK, an unfortunate stat-crush, changed graphics which made a frequent "GTFO" mechanic very hard to spot, or simply not enough preparation - we didn't kill Algy tonight. Ellz optimistically said "it wouldn't have been fun if it had been too easy" and there may be truth in that. It did actually feel like current content, a fight that will take an evening to master, like new bosses in HFC. And with the limited content in WoD that's actually pretty exciting. For everyone involved in this event, make sure to check the Herald post to help decide on a date for a new attempt.
After about 2 hours spent on Algalon we switched to Alliance side to start clearing HFC for this week. During the second boss, Levy seemed temporarily replaced by Mr. Hyde. His directions for Fel Reaver weren't much to go after (they basically were "Blue. Maybe.") and when he asked "Shall we res Uz?", got a conformation and then lightly responded "Oh. I can't find you. Someone else's responsibility." we knew the transformation was complete and we'd better keep our heads low before Ebenezer "Levy" Scrooge would invent new bone punishments.
On this evening Zub was in as many hands as a presidential candidate during election time. I could've made this a lot less classy joke, but I didn't. Do observe this display of willpower.
Some people are still confusing Levy's voice with Uz's voice. I personally have no issue telling the two apart, but maybe it's like asparagus and the way it makes your pee smell. Some smell it, some don't. Or cilantro. For some it tastes like soap, for some it tastes like, I don't know, you tell me, because to me it always tastes like soap. I'm sure there's some gene for telling Uz and Levy's voice apart. And the others just have that space occupied with something much more useful.
There was also something going on with Uz's trinket Bladestorming? I only know I've been in the queue for an Ers trinket for a loooooong time.
The rest of the week I'm cutting short as I've got a guest column from Ellz about the Naked Gnome Race last Friday. On Sunday we cleared the leftover farm and nearly-farm content in HFC. Cruella and Cyperr made their first appearances during this raid and we killed Zakuun for the second time. On Monday we did normal HFC where Brohmir made his first appearance, and Tal was the great surprise guest for whom it was of course not the first time in a DR raid!
Here's a screenie Uz sent in with the description "selfie obsessed dwarf taking picture in a fight during the raid with Seph photo bombing". I believe this is Socrethar and the subject explains a lot about Uz's perfect focus during every encounter! I can only imagine the difficulty this dwarf has when catching a glimpse of his own reflection in pools of water when it has been raining in the Hellfire Assault Area, or walking by the mirroring crystals in some of the halls of the Citadel... Should I encourage him by promising a 1k gold reward to the guild member who can send me a selfie of theirselves standing close (<4 yards) to Ellz mid-encounter?*
Now for this week's guest column by Ellz. Enjoy!
Naked + Gnomes - what could be better? My NOT banning fiddling while it went on perhaps?
Gnome-love obviously needs some work in the Guild, as there were only four of us appearing in the bowels of Gnomeregan on Friday evening for our naked gnome race. Averte had spent considerable time and effort into thinking through the rules, the route, all the intense planning needed for us to run from Gnomergedon to Booty Bay. Unfortunately, you missed all of that because when he was about to transfer All that thinking and planning onto the website - I had put our Birthday music on there and he couldn't work out how to turn it off and then could only cope with posting like 3 lines before his ear drums shattered. Thats the truth. Honestly. Isnt it Averte.
Soo on the night of the great gnome race, 4 cute, loveable, determined, lovely, but with a hint of devliment, gnomes materialized. Nakedgnomy (Gnomy) Noodellz (Ellz) The Flash (Averte)... and Sephrini - NOT a lot of thought gone into that final name given the circumstances!!
We kinda discovered that gnomes are not VERY naked when they are naked. I take offence at that. What's the problem with gnome bodies over everyone else's? Discrimination I call!! However, we were not to be put off and we stood at the starting line as Averte did our countdowm. Off we went. Ellz took an early lead, navigating the rooms but at the last turn hesitated and Averte and Gnomy joined her on the lift. Up we went... quick dash across open country off the road put Ellz in the lead again... but where was Seph? There was a little white dot just appearing from the mouth of Gnomeregan as we reached the crossroads at Kharanos.
Disaster! Ellz turned the wrong way at Kharanos! Averte into the lead, closely followed by the Gnomy-one! Ellz swiftly changed direction and caught up in Ironforge as The Flash waited for the tram - on they both jumped. Gnomy jumped at the last second! But where was Seph? Little white dot appearing at the entrance to IF.Tram left.
Our three in the lead took different routes through SW, Averte ahead, Ellz and Gnomy pretty much tied until the Trade District.. where was Gnomy going??? Ellz glanced back to see him veer off and shouted.. wrong way Gnomy! (Even in a race, taking care of her members!) No response from Gnomy as Averte and Ellz entered Elwynn Forest and split off.. Ellz darting cross country to the river.. Averte taking a little trip into Goldshire. Hmmm, Goldshire Inn, Naked Character.. perhaps he went on auto pilot and forgot what we were here for? Taking the name 'The Flash' a little too seriously? We suddenly realised why Gnomy had taken the wrong route at Trade District as the achievement for Shave and a Haircut popped up onto our screens. 'You gotta look good' he announced.
Ellz reached the river while Averte, contrary to the expressed rules regarding fiddling, was pretending NOT to be in Goldshire but in fact lost. Ye, right. But where was Seph? Her later tram had finally delivered her to SW and the white dot was making its way out of the gates, with Gnomy pretty close.
Ellz got into Darkshire first and decided to risk the river. Bad move. Seph and Gnomy were now close behind with Averte taking the first death as he entered Darkshire. Pretty soon we all experienced the same, but everything changed. Averte got stuck in a time loop of dying, rezzing to zombies who killed him immediately. Gnomy headed for the river and had better luck than Ellz, who gave up on the river and decided to change direction and take the road.
But where was Seph? We all looked behind us.. no white dot to be seen. Had our 4th member been eaten by the spiders or the zombies? There had certainly been many many squeals to suggest that this was indeed the fate she had met. But NO! We were looking the wrong way. There, up ahead of us, sticking to the road was a little white dot, entering STV way ahead of us all. Seph had done her research. STICK.TO.THE.ROAD.
Ellz and Seph spent some considerable time at the first graveyard in STV, Gnomy seemed to be somewhere else altogether.. and Averte, well he was still playing with Zombies at the graveyard in Darkshire. Here is where it all changed again. Dirty tactics I call it. Seph and I were rezzing together but on the path by Hemet Nesingwary's base. Seph just point blank refused to rez. We both stood there. I realised this could go on all night, so I did the decent thing.. the kinda thing you'd expect from your lovely, caring GM. I rezzed, immediately aggro'd, died and SHE of the WHITE DOT..ran through safe! Hmphf!!!
It was probably quite some time later, felt like years actually, of rezzing and dying and rezzing and dying and listening to even more squeals, again designed I am sure to put the rest of us off so much that we couldn't bear it any longer... than I managed to move myself from the Graveyard. Gnomy was way ahead.. and Averte.. was still with the Zombies. But where was Seph? A shout went up! Seph was IN Booty Bay!! From last place to first, our daring, researching, dirty-tactic-playing, squealing, resiliant cute little priest Gnome had beaten us all.
Gnomy was close behind in second place, Ellz came in third and not so much a 'Flash' as a 'Flicker' (interpret that AS you will!), our leader of the evening arrived in time for the picnic!
Really good fun had by all - big congrats to Seph and thanks to Averte for organising!
And that concludes this week's news. Thanks to Ellz for the contribution and thanks to Averte for recording the Naked Gnome Race (I just have to see it now!). See you next week!
* I do not take responsibility for bone punishments earned this way.
Happy 5th Birthday Divine Retribution!
ONE-SHOT! Sort of.
Gorefiend is a dead gassy ball now. But at least in some years a gnomish space probe may stop by to take high quality pictures of it!
5/13 and 'patchy'